Get yo a___ UP!!! Times a Ticking!

i could sit here and try to think of something ground breaking to write, but what do i know.

in life, i think we forget that we have the ultimate control over ourselves. so what triggers us to forget that.

• fatigue
• insecurities
• fear
• distractions
• ???
  the list goes on and on. but you know what i say....Fuck the list, wtf is a list anyway!!!!

no one person is the same. everyone has different circumstances. who am i to judge anyone. who are you to judge me. i believe that we all can "just get along" if we all just start being real. BUT HERE'S THE KICKER.....WHAT IS REAL??? Ha!!! what a complex question. diversity is such a strong word in my opinion. it's so much shit going on in this world right now this second, the world never sleeps. time stops for no one, child are you listening???

baby you can make anything you want happen. hard work pays off. do the right thing like spike said. i know that there is more to what i see everyday, i know that with knowledge, integrity, courage, pure and spiritual guidance that sky is the limit. lets not limit ourselves, I'm begging us to break the mold, because there is no such thing.

Personally i know that i have SOOOOO much to learn to understand to EXPERIENCE, and i embrace life with open arms, i embrace my life because it's MINE and something more valuable and fulfilling than even i can understand. be beautiful child, for one day your here and then your gone. R.I.P Sweet James *muah*

I Love...

Right now...

i want a margarita
my nails are professionally painted by ME
i have a slight headache
i want sum chips & salsa
i want to be rescued
i want to be in Lu's arms
i'm cold
i'm typing
i'm just killing time
i'm trying to find a way to ease my mind
i'm fighting temptation
i'm alone in a quiet library
my hairs nappy
my boots are scuffed
my mind is free
i love being me
i'm trying the rhyme
i'm just killing time.

I AM BORED PEOPLE. THERE'S REALLY NOTHING GROUND BREAKING GOING ON IN MY MIND. I'M SIMPLY JUST KILLING TIME.

Nirvana.

as i search for you. i wonder why it took me so long to go looking. i guess i thought  i had you all along. i know now that i did not. deep down i my soul, i can feel you. penatrating from somewhere within. Nirvana. i want you more than i've ever wanted anyone. i need you like i need air. you hold the key to the person i want to be. Nirvana, come back to me.

Gone.

i'm figuring out what i always knew
so long have i let fear shackle me
i fly free now
letting my mind and spirit flow
watch & see as i discover me.

Choppa Style!

I'VE DECIDED TO CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF! (pics coming soon)

The Discovery Channel

I know I know its been months since my last blog I haven't been "ON IT " as they say. But it's been for a darn good reason. I've been getting my life together tehehe SERIOUSLY! I just had to get focused. Nobody's perfect including ME! I'm just trying to do it MY WAY, THE RIGHT WAY!!!! I'm taking a Literature course in summer school, & I am really starting to have a fond connection with poetry. I've even wrote a couple samples. Nothing serious just trying it out I really like it. We've been reading some Dickerson and Poe and alot of the other classics. Some are difficult to follow, but after analyzing them the come out to be clever and meaningful!
So I am a supporter of all the aspiring poets out there. i can dig it!

hey now.

Along this journey i began to discover some things about myself. My obsession with Kim Kardashian led to my obsession with Khloe, which led to my obsession of Kourtney, which is strangely leading me to my obsession with Kris lol Just kidding (only a little bit). Why so obsessed some may ask? Simply because they look fun and they always look cute! Don't forget about the "Mega Fine-Ness" of Kim! Now I know this is very superficial of me but who really cares. "Can't change who I am, Don't really want to!"

Hey Rob!

hey Kris!

Next on the JazCovery Channel, my urge to want to wear high heels every single day, even when I'm just walking around the house. I can't stop. it's an illness lol Now i know this a difficult task especially when I'm on campus walking from class to class. but the heart wants what the heart wants (in this case the feet) :) maybe it's the sound they make when I'm walking, i just love em'.

i also really enjoy Floral prints, nude colors, neutral colored hand bags, scrap booking, painting. Just a Few of my favorite things :) What else, oooooh Amber Rose she's hotter than fish grease right now. Very interesting , very attractive, some what mysterious. I can't really say too much about her cause I don't really know her she has nice shoes though. Gotta love her!

It's so much I want to learn and do, I'm blessed to have the opportunity to expand my mind and understand what I want in this life time. Live Long & Prosper.

Cuffs

i been gone for a minute...I'm back now, i spent the weekend at home, i needed i break from the the world...this house brings me a comfort like nothing else. brings back so many good memories!((Me & LaChae my favorite person in this whole world))

oh life changing experience...my 1st trip to New Orleans,LA. i loved it. not just because i could drink freely walking down the street, i loved it simply b.cuz that city has CHARACTER. yes indeed.
((Saw some sites))

(( Shared a Hotel with some Handsome strangers)) ((Peed outside)) ((meet the Men of my dreams)) (( ran into my homeboy BOB who i haven't seen since 3rd grade))

((ATE))

((SLABed it out))(( peed outside))

((took sum pics))

((popped it 4 pimp))

THE END.

so now it's time for mid-terms. ugh. then spring break yippie!!! i just hope i don't get myself into any trouble. I've always had this thing were during spring break i would get myself or one of my "friends" would pull me into one of their dilemma's. SPRING BREAK= chaos!

mi & my box of frosted mini wheats

ahhhhhhhh... back at school laying in Tabitha (my bed) nothing to do no one to play with. just me my music & my thoughts. seen allot of interesting things back at school Prairie View A&M is a trip. it's so typical pertaining to social situations. i can predict what's gonna happen before i even get into the infamous MSC. i refuse to convert into a close minded fool. ...just aint mi. "hay hay haaaaaaaaaaaaaay DON'T say you will"((MR. WEST))...i enjoy that song. some homemade cupcakes sound really good right now. i like them soooooo much better than store bought cupcakes ((aka yuck))excuse my rambling i need to talk to someone but i don't really like to talk on the phone so...i decided to talk to my keyboard. who never judges me or calls me a loser. "he's the only one that's ever allowed to hang out in my room, with the door closed we be alone.((B)) my favorite part of having a journal and or blog is re-reading what i wrote and or typed....it's like a time machine especially if i go back and read some of my old old stuff...awesome! anyway i'm diggin Ryan Leslie my song of the day was "how it was suppose to be" he's swell!!! he's officially my crush for January!.......school school school what am i doing here. sometimes i don't even know what i'm doing with my life...hopefully i will have my whole life plan written out tomorrow, so until then...

i'ma WRITER but i'm still a GORILLA...ya understand!!!

i love music. i think it keeps me sane. not just the lyrics, the beats, bass, and the memories that certain songs bring back. some good some bad some great. yesterday one of my friends asked me where i was mentally....my reply "I'm just tryna take care of me right now. make sure i take care of school and myself." i don't really think i can go wrong as long as i stick to that plan. my simple plan. of course all around me are distractions, people in my ear constantly not one day goes by where somebody is throwing shots at me....regardless if i hear about it or not. i use to wonder why? i pretty much keep to myself. i hang with the same people all the time because quite frankly they're are the only people i like LOL. so shit all that extra shit doesn't really concern me. cant' change who i am. don't really want to. fuck em' that's the motto i live by. if i didn't then i would be foolish like everybody else. I'm sorry for those people who feel like they have to lie on others to make themselves feel better. like Paul Chaney said "HATERS ARE INSECURE PEOPLE" don't try steal his quote he said it first LOL!!! but that's life if i worried about everything people said about me i wouldnt have time to do anything eles HA!!! today's friday school starts tuesday... i think it's time to put my dancing shoes on!!!

Lady MacBeth.

I'd Do Em'

Sorry Michelle but it's true...and i'm not the only one that thinks like that. He's hot plus he's powerful...plus I know YOU KNOW your not going anywhere so let me fantasize. Besides my own father this is the coolest motherf**** i ever seen yo!!! Cool in the sense that he doesn't lets anybody see him sweat. He knows how to control that sh** and I LOVE IT!!! am i obsessed???? heck yea i'm obsessed and proud of it. " Tell em' i'm doing fine Obama for mankind we ready for damn change so yall let the man shine" -Jeezy

if one person is giving a whole country so much hope just by speaking to them it has to be something special...call me what you want but i respect someone who inspires people and gives them hope!!! after next week we will see what he is capable of. So give em' hell O.Bee!!!!

here's why i'd do em'!!!!

to be cont...

Nail Polish, Afternoon Naps, Doobies

JUST A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS....give me my laptop and i'll show you what i can do. i have a problem. unfortunately i dunno what it is. it's 6:00am and i have yet to fall asleep. i've been home most of the day laying on the couch. sleeping on the couch. harassing my mother.my kinda of friday. i wonder why everyone wants to be diffrent these days? i guess that's the trend now stand out...when all people are really doing is trying to fit in. irronic aint it!!! i see it alot. i want a banana split from sonic with The Bob. i love The Bob such a fasinating creature he is. reminds me alot of myself. the majority of this week i've just been in the house. after sunday when i was HIGHLY intoxicated and made a complete dick of myself i decided i needed to cool it for a while. i wonder what i would look like in 10 years. that should be interesting. i have this weird feeling that alot of stuff is about to change in my life. i'm afraid of it. simply b.cuz i dunno what's coming my way. but that life. she's a whore sometimes. gotta love her tho. i definetly need to destroy those pictures from sunday. the horror. i wonder if any body besides jasmine kyle and zach read this...oh well like plies said we got that water!!!!

Peace

dick, gravy

couldn't think of a title just thought i'd let u know

always been under estimated. but i think i was the main one under estimating myself. i think i've always been afraid of the power i had afraid that i wouldn't know how to control it when i learned how to use it. i still think i'm afraid. don't know why tho. i've always felt different i would sit in class and day dream about everything. i use to be very timid & self conscious. i guess by the time i was 16 i stopped caring about the way people saw me. i remember one conversation with my mom, i think i was in 8th grade and i was upset because i kept getting criticized about everything and i was on the verge of tears when my mom said "you know what you say to people who pick at everything you do...FUCK EM'....fuck what they have to say" lol i was so shocked b.cuz i mean my mom didn't swear i never heard her talk like that. mom's is a beast lol!!! till this day i still have that fuck em' attitude....can't change who i am. don't really want to. now i'm to stuck in my ways.that could be a bad thing. unfortunately i know no other way.

• "you are so weird"
• "crazy"
• "what the Fuck is wrong with you"
• "your outta control"
• "weirdo"
• "i wonder about you sometimes"

just a few of the things i hear almost on a daily basis. at times i wish i could see myself through someone else eyes. not even for a long time. gimmie 10 minutes . that's all i need. i'm ready to travel i honestly don't want to get a job establish a home and all that kinda of stuff. i really just want to drift. travel the world.be in a purple haze.never worried about money or health. just enjoying life care free and lifted!!! oh how i wish that dream would become a reality.

isn't it obvious i have no life

it be me me me & Timothy!!! i just woke up about 2 hours ago & i've been on the computer since. in the next 5 years where will i be? i know where i wanna be...writing for a magazine not even a editor i wanna take it slow learn my craft and master it.but it doesn't stop there i want to host and direct my own radio show...where we can talk about any and everything i want to hand pick my co-host cuz we gotta have a connection!!! the sky's my limit i think it's possible i'm GOING 4 IT!!!

next on the agenda F.R.I.E.N.D.S howmanyofushavethem. it's funny how people change in such i short period of time. i don't hold any grudges i still love everyone as if nothings changed but it's easy to let some of my old friends go simply b.cuz the were unsatisfied with their own life's so they decided to take it out on me, someone who had no control of their life. just an inncocent by stander. Bye Bye Birdy i pray that you find what your looking for before it's to late. can't change who i'm iz. don't really want to. as you view my pictures these are the ones who get me they Xcept me for me and i Xcept them for them. though some have only been in this love affair for a short while i like what i see...the ones i can depend on. as for the ones that have been down since the playground the love affair continues you know who you iz no need to name names. That's what pictures are for!!! No matter how far away we are from each other or the time period since we last talked nothing ever changes MY DEFINITION OF A TRUE FRIEND!!!

bah bah black sheep have you any wool? yes sir yes sir 3 bags full!!!

HighSchool I was a fool I was only 18

i live life as a dreamer...my attitude ((la lala lala im fun im cute good times))

until reality slapped me in the face...& she slapped me HARD!!!

2 events corresponding to each other f#!&$$ up my mindstate at one point i didn't even know who i was anymore i was LOST & the only person who could find me was ME

the only way i could xscape reality was if i went to sleep & even then I WOULD DREAM EVERY SINGLE NIGHT i just couldn't xscape my thoughts they were my own worst enemy.

i guess i kept some of my sanity b.cuz i still had fun & enjoyed myself....but when we got in one of my moods i was gone...it took me a LONG time to get back to where i wanted to be it ju st took time for me to appreciate me again. iLove myself fucking right iDo. i highly & advise you to Love yourself as well it's incredible if i must say so. Looking back i don't regret going through the B.S it taught me many vauble Leasons on LIFE...she can be your bestfriend or your worst enemy THE CHOICE IS YOUR!!! so when it comes to mines iLike it iLove iWant some more of it!!!

LETS TAKE A TRIP DOWN THE LANE SHALL WE...

High school was fun and memorable charpter in my life which is now closed Life's a journey & i've only just begun mines i xcept my past & im xcited about my future....Here iGO!

Come on everybody get out of your seat...

2000 zero eight party over oops out of time!!!!

SIKE....

Sutter home supports breast cancer so i support sutter home!

Last night was so weird...2 many diffrent strange things happend that just weren't right!

Guess that means i'm gonna have a strange year (as if that's new)...

REFLECTION TIME...08

• learned ALOT
• extended my family
• gained some friends
• lost some friends
• realized the full power of my breast


• got addicted
• deanslist
• sweet summer job
• drugs .sex. rock & roll

I have numerous plans for this coming year...She plots all day er' day!!!